Marque Thompson
Ever since I heard the news this afternoon, I've been thinking about my last IM chat with Marque. It was at the beginning of September. She pinged me at work. She said she had had a stroke or something very much like it, induced by one of the drugs her doc had prescribed to manage her BP (at too high of a dosage, as it turns out). She was explaining why she had been silent so long. First pneumonia, then the "stroke," and then full-blown psychosis. It sounded like a pretty horrific time. She said she'd finally come out of it, but that one finger on one hand was still shaking, even as we were chatting. She sounded tired, but okay, philosophical. I'd almost say at peace, if you can tell something like that over IM. She said Steve had been great through it all, that he had really been there when she needed him. He had saved her.
I love this picture of Marque cuddling in bed with her daughter. It's a soft, sweet side of Marque that we rarely saw on Vox. Oh, she didn't hide it, it was there, but it was overshadowed, maybe, by other parts of Marque--the darker, more troubled, more dramatic parts.
This tagline is my favorite one from Marque's Vox. She rotated a few of them, but for me this one really nailed what she was about. “Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!”
The circumstances of her accident aside, I've always loved this tagline for Marque. It's so authentically her. She's the only person I've ever known who really lived this way. Good and bad, she lived it all fully and she shared it completely, without reservation. She was so open.
I was thinking, driving home from work today, that I wish someone on Vox would host some kind of memorial service for Marque. Maybe that's stupid, considering everything that happened with her here... But it can't be right to say nothing. Whether we liked her or not, Marque was an important part of this community. She had a unique voice and an energy that demanded attention. Marque made us think (often about things we would have preferred to ignore) and she made us understand ourselves better simply by being who she was. I think she held up a mirror to the Vox community. I think many of us saw things in her that we didn't necessarily want to admit were part of us. People can react very strongly to that sort of thing, sometimes.
But here's what I admired most about Marque. In the months I knew her on Vox, I kept seeing her get knocked down by one thing or another--by her own mistakes or the betrayals of others--but every time, every single time, she'd eventually sit up, get back on her feet, dust herself off, and start over. She made plenty of mistakes, but you just knew that giving up was never going to be one of them. Her appetite for life was enormous.
Marque is the first Vox friend I've lost. Well, she's the first friend I've ever lost, period. Where is the frame of reference for this? How do I honor her spirit, or mark her passing? Her family has no idea who I am. They probably have no idea just how many of us out here feel we knew Marque, and cared about her. How strange this world of Internet friendships can be.
Edit, September 24, 2007
Marque's sister Jessica has created a Vox blog as a tribute to Marque. You may send your condolences or share your memories of Marque with her family and friends there.
Comments
I'm so sorry, IG.
As for a memorial of some kind, you just did it, IG.
Damn, I can't think about this right now - it's too much to take in, on top of my brother's death.
Once that was figured out (okay, I never really figured it out for good) I was able to understand the real person behind the name...the real Marque. And there was quite a lot to it. She wasn't someone you "got" in one sitting. Some people had a hard time accepting who she was. At times, I had a hard time accepting who she was. There was even a time I doubted her entirely. But that was because I had never met a person like her before. I had no basis with which to understand someone as complicated as Marque Thompson. She threw me for a loop.
But oh, what a loop.
Marque (mar-kee...mar-kee....) taught me so much about what it means to be truthful with yourself, how to face your own inner demons and stare them down, even as they try to drown you in self-doubt. She taught me a lot about myself too, and it was on her blogs that I first learned to express myself in an open forum like this. Sure, I had been on Vox for a while, but I'd never really invested myself emotionally like I did on her posts. And honestly, I never have since. It was because of her that I chose to turn to my - our - Vox community when I had my own issues to deal with, and because of that I was able to make it through a particularly dark time in my own life. I made most of my good relationships here through her community, and even now as members of my neighborhood have come and gone it's the ones from her 'hood that are still the backbone of mine. I can safely say that, were it not for Marque, I probably wouldn't be here still. I would have missed out on the chance to know the great people I do, I would have missed out on the chance to know Marque.
And that's missing out on a lot.
Marque left our lives like she came in to them....unexpectedly, mysteriously, and on her own terms. I don't think there's a person in her 'hood she hasn't affected in some intense way. Anyone who's known her for any length of time understands what I mean. Chances are, if they are reading this that's true. My condolences go out to her family. But we've experienced quite a loss here as well. Marque, with all she's gone through and all the adventures she's taken us on, will always live on here.
All I can think to say to her is......girl, you go.
my eyes are still teary and the news are a little too new for me so i don't know how much sense i can make here but i really really liked marque. i can't believe she passed. like jay, the backbone of my neighborhood is through her, like him, i also made vox my home after meeting her even if i had been around for a long time.
she was so human, so intense, so sensitive. she was one of a kind.
and people were so mean to her for sharing her reality.
i miss you, marque, but i hope you have found peace for that troubled soul of yours. maybe we'll meet again in another reality.
I knew Marque only through other people's neighbourhoods, but I have read her posts, and I think I left a comment or two.
I'm so deeply shocked and saddened.
In the comments to the last post, her sister has left her email.
Rest in peace, Marque!
Marque's sister's blog
I'm sorry to intrude on your grief. I am a friend of someone that knew Marque well--each of us through Vox--tho' their friendship was off Vox as well.
Hopefully you can get the information you seek through her sis.
I'm sorry for your loss.
She was there through one of my darkest times, encouraging me to keep being open and honest, to keep my life and open book and to scream a loud "F*** OFF!" to everyone who wanted me to be more quiet. Hell, had I let her she would have screamed it for me.
All I can say is that in my short time here on Earth I've only met one Marque, and her leaving this world creates a vacuum that not many could fill. I hope she is in a bright place full of love, and that the people she left behind never question her devotion.
Oh, so sorry, IG! I remember seeing her posts, and, YES the tagline. She sounded like a wonderful person. I know we exchanged comments somewhere, thinking CO. I want to come back and reread this later on with the links I see. (((hugs))) to you and the others who were closest to her.
Marque changed my life in many ways.
When she got really sick at the beginning of the year, again from medicine issues she turned inward and pushed a lot of us away.
I told her to heal. Heal yourself Marque and then let's get back to knockin' peoples socks off all over VOX.
She send me an email about a month ago and told me that she was starting to do much better and that she was working on her and that Steve had been wonderful.
When I spoke to Steve earlier today, he said , in a total state of numbness, "Jenn, she was just starting to get better and now I'll never see the end result".
In the same breath he spoke of the children and how strong they have been and that he was just happy that everyone on VOX has been doing what we have been. We have been remembering the Marque that rocked our worlds. The Marque that made us laugh our damn asses off. The Marque that will live in all of our hearts and minds forever. Her smart ass clever wit will live with me always.
OMG...I feel completely out of the loop. This is all horrible beyond words.
I didn't know that Marque was back on Vox. I used to read her blog regularly, and met several people there who have since been added to my "friends" list, like Kirk. I thought her blog was always well written, passionate, funny, from the heart. It made me want to try to be a little less guarded in my own posts, beacuse I saw that people were touched by her authenticity.
I won't lie: she scared the crap out of me. Extreme/addictive personalities always do, especially in someone so smart. Even if we had lived next door to each other, I don't know that we would have hung out much. I don't think I could have handled it. But I enjoyed knowing her here, through the filter of the internet, and she certainly always had a kind comment for things I had written. It's doubly tragic that this happened just as she seemd to be finally on the road to better.
I've always hated motorcycles.
I just have to say that this post and these comments are a memorial service. It's not the traditional flowers-and-covered-dish variety, but she wouldn't have wanted that anyway. It is in many ways more fitting to the way she lived her life and the way she approached her online community.
She was an intense, passionate woman and the world is a little less bright now.
*sigh*
There's a great little book called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" that I'd like to recommend to you all - someone gave me a copy yesterday. Although the title seems to imply that it's about the loss of a spouse/lover/etc., everything in it is applicable to any death (or other major loss). I'd recommend the amazon.com marketplace + various used book sites for copies, as it's a bit scarce right now. (Between printings, maybe?) It's a small investment that will more than pay for itself, in terms of giving food for thought (in poetry and prose).
I never heard of this woman before. I do want to go to her blog and read her words, and see what she had to say. She seems to have had a big impact on alot of people.
I really like the picture of her and her daughter, too. What a beautiful moment captured there.
Please take good care of yourself.
Big huggs to you, IG.
I briefly went through Marque's blog that you had the link to here, before I went home last night. All night at home then, I found my mind drifting back to her last post with the motorcycle picture, and it's date --- and then she didn't answer people's comments and their reactions at first and then when they realized what happened. It's just so bizarre to me to think that she posted that, and then what followed, you know?
I feel sad for her children and husband.
Again, I'm sorry you lost a friend like this, IG.