That's it. We're hiring our *own* President of the United States, k?

We have tons of peeps right here in this hood who would be plenty qualified to run this country. Relatively speaking, anyways. Let's pick one and just go with that, k? A few candidates:

A. AmyH  - Energetic, idealistic, outgoing. Would be great on the campaign trail. Plus she's cute.
B. Redzilla - Oooh, brainy and tough. If anyone can put the fear of dawg into those damn turrurists and finally bring peace to the Middle East, it'll be her. Rawr!
C. Kirk - Well, he'd make a strong-minded, principled leader, but Kirk can be a sarcastic sumbitch. That snark could get us in all kinds of trouble diplomatically. Never mind. (Sorry Kirk. You know I love ya, man.)
D. snoringKatZ - Nurturing and compassionate, yet fearsome in battle. I'd vote for her.
E. shush now - Thoughtful, generous, unafraid of complexity. Imagine a President we could all trust for a change!
F. Her Nibbleness - Photogenic, authoritative, with outstanding project management skills and great follow-through. A natural for the job.
G. King Ping - His reign would be enlightened, just, and floofy. A no brainer.
H. Elvy - Incredible charisma. And with such a great First Lady at his side, his administration could be the next Camelot.

So. That's a lot of solid choices, don't you think? Did I miss anyone? Thoughts? Whom would you vote for?

Taking it back, baby
Taking it back, baby

*No, I'm not nominating Princess Indy. My life is hard enough as it is.
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AmyH
[this is good]

Thanks for the vote of confidence! I'm honored!

I would totally be our president if Redzilla would be my Karl Rove to mastermind all the real down and dirty stuff. And I mean 'Karl Rove' in a good way, if that could be remotely possible.

Lurkertype
Redzilla all the way, with Vice President AmyH. A balanced ticket, sensible Midwestern values, etc. etc.

I would have voted for King Ping, but he's not a native-born citizen, so he's ineligible. I'm sure Redz can find a place for him in the administration.
Lurkertype
[this is good]
hmmm, that's good too. Well, you and Redz can work that out, I'm sure.
Laurie
King Ping for ambassador to the UN. Or Secretary of State. Teh Deej for Secretary of Catnip.
IG

I would have voted for King Ping, but he's not a native-born citizen, so he's ineligible.

Dang, I forgot that. I did rule out brownamazon on that score though. Phooey. What a ridiculous rule.


IG
[this is good]

I would totally be our president if Redzilla would be my Karl Rove to mastermind all the real down and dirty stuff. And I mean 'Karl Rove' in a good way, if that could be remotely possible.

That would totally work. I would so vote for that ticket.
Crom74
[this is good]

I will back whoever supports further PORK developments...

Oh and donuts. There must be donuts.

SweetMisery
[this is good]
Yes I am liking this ticket very much. Come on lets take the country back. Hell ya.
IG
King Ping for ambassador to the UN. Or Secretary of State. Teh Deej for Secretary of Catnip.
Good one! Yes!



IG

I will back whoever supports further PORK developments...

Oh, that's easy. Lurkertype is a shoo-in for Secretary of Bacon. Val and Bobavey could be on her staff.


Kirk
[this is good]
Hey, at least I wouldn't be all trying to feel up the German Chancellor! :-P

But you're right. My snarkiness and lack of patience would be our undoing. I mean, how could I not totally ridicule Kim Jong Il? How?

I'd totally go for a Redzilla/AmyH ticket.
thegrumblebunny
Redzilla gets my vote.
snoringKatZ
[this is good]
Isn't there a Secretary of Dessert position? If not, there definitely should be and I think IG would be perfect for that. We could repurpose the military, save a bundle and make the world wonderful by investing in delicious infrastructure.

I can see it now!

We'll beat battleships into bakeries! Imagine cakes flying out of those guns - wooohooooooooo!
Crom74
Lurkertype for PRESIDENT! All vote for Lurkertype! Bacon for a platform!
IG
I know, right? This is developing very nicely too. We'll have the whole Cabinet handpicked by midnight.
IG
Bacon for a platform!

Oooh, that is a lot of bacon. Would it be crisp? Because that would be tasty. But not so much structurally sound.
Crom74

A new platform created hourly perhaps? How much bacon would it take I wonder...

Would have to be crispy.

Redzilla
I thought I'd be more like AmyH's "Dick Cheney." A little snarly and armed ;o)
IG

We could repurpose the military, save a bundle and make the world wonderful by investing in delicious infrastructure... Imagine cakes flying out of those guns - wooohooooooooo!

OMG. Now that's a platform. Well, you've got my vote, sKZ.
AmyH

You're right. That's a much better role. There's no way you could lurk in the shadows as a Karl Rove, anyway.

SweetMisery
[this is good]
May I go to Amsterdam please. Any position will do.
Jay
While I may be swayed by Amy's cute factor once I reach the booth, I'm ideally on Kirk's wagon due to his running mate DJ's stance on feline issues.

Unless someone is giving away cake.
brownamazon
This is great! So foreignosity is the only reason Bobavid, arbed, Laurie and me aren't on the list? Feh! I would totally vote for Bobavid based on the Love Bomb alone!
TreeSweater

You furriners can be anything but Prez (and I think Vice Prez). Everything else is wide open. Secretary of State, Chief of Staff, whatever!

And I'll vote for any platform with bacon in it.

You guys need to campaign, though! And give speeches! And have debates! And do commercials! How else are we supposed to know how you stand on the issues?

David Bobavid
[this is good]
amy for class president!!
AmyH

Hmmm... Love Bomb. Could be considered a WMD. Even if it hasn't been used successfully, it could be grounds for invasion. Plus, it's been tested on family members...

If Redz and I get elected, we may have to take over up there. We'll find the Bobavey house on GoogleMaps, blurry it up and throw a press conference. Once we point at random blobs and make dire predictions, it's all over for Canuckistan.

Thanks for alerting us to this threat. We'll make the women of the world safe from synthetic pheromones.

Redzilla
We must take action now against the Love Bomber or the smoking gun might turn out to be a mushroom and swiss cloud!
Lurkertype
I would be honored to take any bacon-related job in the AmyH/RedZilla administration. I wouldn't use bacon as a platform, however, since after it was built and stood-on, you wouldn't want to eat it, and that would be a waste of good bacon. I will fully support all other pork products. And encourage research into tastier non-pork bacon, so that our vegetarian, Jewish, and Muslim citizens could come closer to the sublime flavor.

Also, IG should totally be the Secretary of Desserts. Kirk for Minister of Snark.
brownamazon
Man, all the good jobs are taken. :(
Can I be Secretary of Swank?
crankypants

I was gonna put Redzilla on the write in vote anyway!

AmyH for VP (Chief of Par-tays)

Elvy was born in Arkansas so at least he's got something presidential about him...He'd need too many personal days for anal gland squeezins though. :-$

IG
Of course! With you at the helm, the Department of Swank will whip the country into some semblance of fashion acceptability yet!
snoringKatZ

Can I be Secretary of Swank?

Is that like Secretary of the Interiors? You want the gig, you got the gig!
IG
[this is good]
LOL at the random blobs in Canuckistan - obviously Love Bomb residue, as Bobavey bombards hapless local females with irresistible synthetic pheromones. Oh the humanity! Where will it end? We must step in.
Laurie

Imagine cakes flying out of those guns - wooohooooooooo!

There used to be pudding-pult at CO. I believe arbed had something to do with it.

I could be Chief of Staff. Of Chief of Cat Staff, because as you know, dogs have owners, while cats have staff.

Laurie
OMG, I just realized that Aubrey's name hasn't come up yet! Is there a Secretary of Culture, because that is hers hands-down.
Valerae
[this is good]
I'd happily be a government bacon minion under LT. This group makes up the best cabinet ever.
IG
Then arbed must be Minister of Defense. She will operate the pudding-pult. As Secretary of Dessert, I will assist her by stockpiling gooey pastries.
IG
Of course! Minister of Culture may be the most powerful post of all. She will work closely with the Secretary of Swank to civilize this heathen land.
IG
You can be Deputy Secretary of Bacon. Your chief rival for the prestigious post was recently exposed as the nefarious Love Bomber and is being pursued by intelligence agents across six continents. He's now said to be cowering somewhere in Ottawa; there's talk of invasion.
Valerae
It surely won't be long before you nab him. Just follow your nose.

I shall do my best to honor my country as Deputy Secretary of Bacon. LT, how do you take your coffee again?
Aubrey

I think I'll be healthy by the elections - no guarantee. Regardless, I as Lord High Minister (What? Oh, all right) will be pleased to work closely with the SOS to drag this country from the maws of the pharisees, to cast it into the healing rain of civilization and art - and then to towel it off with the nice fuzzy terry-cloth blanket of knowledge.

And otter slippers for everyone (BrownA, can you provide?)

Lurkertype
I take it in the form of tea, Deputy Secretary. Or hot chocolate. Put it in a nice cup so we don't embarrass the Secretary of Swank and the Minister of Culture.
Ginger_sister
[this is good]
Can I be appointed minister of kicking the crap out of useless political pundits?
I also hearby promise to not renew my bid for the presidency until the redzilla/amy ticket has served out it's term limitations to the fullest.
IG...are you going to be Secretary of donut distribution?
I also vote Shush now as Press Secretary.
jaypo
Can I vote more than once?!
IG
Only if you're from the Philippines. Or maybe Florida. :-P
AmyH
Or as they say in Chicago - vote early and often!
shush now